Issue 16

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Today's issue includes:

1. Feature Article -- "Season Six: 666 or Full of Hope? Clean slate or
empty plate?"
2. Xena quote/Xena Joke
3. Featured FanFic and Short Review -- "Changes of Heart: Complications,"
"Heart of A Warlord," "Assassin, Oracle, Bard," "Lila's Little Adventure"
4. Xena News -- "TV Stations Keeping Xena From Fans"
5. Featured Xena Links -- Rook's WebPage and La La's XWP Episode Reviews
6. Xena: Warrior Princess Episode Guide -- "Mortal Beloved" and "The Royal
Couple of Thieves"
7. Feedback
8. PRIVACY/NO SPAM POLICY!
9. Subscribe/Unsubscribe Information
10. Credits
11. Archives

This final Issue of the Seasons brings us to the not yet aired Season Six. Because no one has seen these episodes ("except for some of Legacy"), this issue's Featured Article is made up of speculation, rumor, wishing, and spoilers. If you do not want to know what may or may not happen in this upcoming season, then we suggest that you should skip the Featured Article.

1) Featured Article

"Season Six: 666 or Full of Hope? Clean slate or empty plate?"
E.J. Rain and Lady Adrell
August 13, 2000

Hope, the thing with feathers, once held in Pandora's box, and not the devil child of the same name is still alive, she springs eternal, walk on (walk on) with hope in your heart and you'll never walk alone, etc.

Season Six, though, that's another story. One, while already mostly written, has yet to unfold. So, how can I...we say anything about that?! I go in mortal fear of (whisper it) spoilers. What can I dare to hope for in this final season except to keep my fingers crossed and hope (that word again) and pray that, at least through Melissa Good's work, there will be a turn back towards the relationship that will make the show worth watching all over again. A major wish was fulfilled when I learned she, my favorite fanfic bard, would get to write for the series. And the only way I can approach the rest of this projected season would be to daydream, i.e., fantasize about what my own perfect wishfully fulfilled final dream season would be like. X&G finally exchange marriage vows in an amazon binding ritual, subtext becomes unambiguous maintext. Sappho, played by LL, is presented in a serious light and not tossed aside like Artemis after a bare mention. And makes a big play for the bard to Xena's jealous chagrin. This would be another genuine opportunity for LL to sing since Sappho sang her poems.

No Joxer. (Looks like we pretty much have that. Thank you goddess for those small miracles, at least.) Light on the heavy Christian religious symbolism. An overdue acknowledgement that Gab played a part in the conception of their daughter. They ride off into the sunset very much together. Forever. Bliss.

Season Five was a holdover from hell, an induced, psychotic nightmare, none of it true. We may as well begin a new season with Bobby, uh Gabby in the shower (or hot tub) reassuring us that it was all a bad dream. Something even better than a hot tub scene? This Missy scripted moment we've heard so much about...hmm. We'll see. Or maybe not. The dreaded cutting room floor, drat. Not fair. Have the courage to air what they had the guts to put on film. Please.

Acknowledgement that same gender sex is perfectly normal and accepted by the learned Greeks, at least, on whom we base our civilization and democracy. We look with hope to the titles of the Missy scribed
eps..."Legacy." "Coming Home." That title promises a fine note to begin a hopefully hopeful season. And I further hope the title will be as prophetic as it sounds and they come home to each other as well as the
fans and their former glory. This has been, of necessity, a short overview of something that is yet to be.

But what we want and what is are most always two different things. Damn reality!!! We want to see more of a physical evolution between the Warrior and Bard, yet we know it will never happen, not in this day and age of money-driven suits and religious uptights. What can we look forward to if not seeing Xena take Gabrielle in her arms in the final season of the show and kiss her on the mouth with a breathtaking, passionate kiss that makes every subtexter fall out of their seats? Are we to be hornswaggled into another season of missed opportunities with grandiose, overdone stories and little else? According to Lucy in a recent interview, Rob's feelings about big stories are not favorable. He enjoys the smaller ones, much like those shown in the first seasons. Lucy suspects they will probably return full circle with smaller stories that show a return to the relationship of empowerment and love between Xena and Gabrielle. This brings room for some hope to subtexters. But not immediately.

We'll see the season start with Missy Good's "Coming Home" where we'll meet a new character as well as see a return to familiar characters such as Eve and Ares. Having seen parts of "Legacy" and knowing Missy's talent for storytelling, we're sure to get a season opener that will be explosive. Undoubtedly there will not be the massive use of CGI for this opener as there was with "Fallen" Angel," last season's opener, but the explosive talent and great characterization of the Xena and Gabrielle characters by Missy will surely have us smiling. Very few writers for the show have as good a handle on these two characters, with and without the subtext/maintext elements, as Missy does. For those who are wanting to see a heavy touch of subtext in Missy's episodes you'll be in for a disappointment. She already made it clear that she wrote as the studio wanted her to write and she did not make up a story plot on her own.

The continuing of the big story theme takes us from the total destruction of Xena's childhood home in "The Haunting of Amphipolis" to her attempt at felling an arrogant Archangel, Lucifer, to rule as the King of Hell in her destined place. This dark episode is appropriately titled "Heart of Darkness." The focus turns then to Gabrielle in "Who's Gurkhan?" and takes on a theme that Gabrielle has experienced only once before. Revenge for a loved one. And so the pair is off to North Africa in search of the murderer. This story spans three episodes, one of which is "Legacy."

"Legacy" opens with Xena and Gabrielle still travelling in North Africa. The nude scene will more than likely be cut in many places because the TV censors will not allow such footage to air, but having seen it, hope springs eternal that somewhere the scene will be shown in its entirety. That is if Ren Pics does not cut it first. We get to see classic Xena in speech, fighting style, and expressions. The dialogue is classic Missy though. Lucy and Renee seemed to have fun as they threw one-liners back and forth in the teaser and first scene. This is sure to be a good episode.

Good, bad, or ugly? This is the question in the minds of many fans about Season Six. There can only be speculation and innuendo as to how the sixth season of XWP will turn out. Even with rumors of seeing Joxer again, the inevitable larger than life stories, and that incessant Christian theme the show can not possibly get as bad or ugly as it did in Season Five. Let us pway, o merciful Isis, Ishtar, Astarte, Artemis/Diana, mother moon (take your pick) bring us full-circle to a new beginning in our ending, alpha and omega, yin and yang, to infinity and beyond and back, the vag symbol of the cauldron morphs into a snake, its own tail in its mouth, ouroboros, the eternal return, always coming back, always coming home.
And we welcome you with arms wide open.

2) Xena Quote/Xena Joke

Xena Quote
Xena: "Look, I've never felt better, okay?"
Gabrielle: "How can you say that, when the prophecy of the Red Sun is coming true? We need Michael and the heavens on our side, not as adversaries."
Xena: "Gabrielle, now that I've got the power to kill Gods, do you really think I'd be intimidated by a bunch of bullying angels and their doomsday prophecies? It's a whole new ballgame now, and I make the rules."
Xena and Gabrielle in "Heart of Darkness"

Xena Joke
Top 10 XWP Beatles Songs

1. A Bard Day's Night
2. Joxwell's Silverware Armor
3. Caesar You're A Dead Man
4. I Want To Slice Off Your Hand
5. Being For The Benefit Of Mr. Flying Parchment Thing
6. There is no number six.
7. Parchment Scroll Writer
8. Strawberry Blonde Elysian Fields Forever
9. Happiness Is A Wet Blade
10. Lucy In The Sky With Demons

3) Featured Fan Fiction

Cated's FanFic Review

Guest Reviewers: Bacchae2 and Lady Adrell

"Changes of Heart: Complications"
by CN Winters
http://ausxip.com/fanfic11/coh-complications.html

Review by Bacchae2: This is the first short bit of a 'to be continued' story that appears to look to the future...Eve, a mortal Ares and Herc are all featured characters so we would seem to be in post-"Motherhood" territory...

"Changes of Heart: Complications" gets a [*] as it is little more than a beginning fragment it is impossible to rate this story. However, be advised that CN's tales are usually adult in nature.

***********************

"Heart of A Warlord"
by Patricia L. Ennis (aka Dax)
http://www.obsession14.com/XenaRotica/DAx/warlord.htm

Review by Lady Adrell: This long first-time story covers a theme that some may not enjoy; Gabrielle leaving Xena to be with another woman. But give this story a chance. It is well written and worth the time to read it.

I give "Heart of A Warlord" ***** (5 stars)

***********************

"Assassin, Oracle, Bard"
by Bat Morda
http://www.obsession14.com/XenaRotica/BatMorda/aob1.htm

Review by Lady Adrell: This 2 parter tells the tale of Gabby look-a-likes. As you can imagine, 1 is an assassin, 1 an oracle, and the last would be our Gabby. An intense story that goes where no one else has. Leave that to Bat though.

Content Warning: Graphic sexuality and violence. Some references to rape.

I give "Assassin, Oracle, Bard" ***** (5 stars)

***********************

"Lila's Little Adventure"
by Charmer
http://www.obsession14.com/XenaRotica/Charmer/lila.htm

Review by Lady Adrell: Little Lila gets an eye opening experience when she gets trapped in the barn with an oblivious Bard and Warrior. Momma never said the birds and bees looked like that!

I give "Lila's Little Adventure" **** (4 stars)

4) Xena News

"TV Stations Keeping Xena From Fans"
Lady Adrell
August 20, 2000

Many would think that because the show Xena is filmed in New Zealand that naturally the Kiwis and Aussies would see every episode. Wrong. Kiwis hardly ever get to see the show and Aussies are still fighting to see Season Five. For the Kiwi Xenites it is a matter of lack of numerous TV stations like we in the States are accustomed to. Their few stations run shows for a short period of time and then switch to a different show to air in its place, sometimes returning a show to TV after a year or more hiatus. Aussie Xenites have run into a problem with a TV station, Channel 10, that has refused to keep the show
permanently on the air (See Issues 14 & 15 for more information on this subject).

So why wouldn't some of the other Australian stations air Xena instead? Channel 10 bought the rights to air the show. By contract, other stations that are free-to-air or paid stations, such as Foxtel, are able to air the show but only two seasons behind the station that originally purchased the rights in the first place, which is Channel 10. This is the dilemma facing Aussie Xenites. The primary TV station that is legally able to air through Season Five of Xena will not permanently make the show a part of their line up and have only shown the series up until "Fallen Angel," the first episode of Season Five. This permits the other stations to only run all episodes from Seasons One through Three.

All is not lost though for Seasons Four through Six. As of January 1, 2001, Channel 10's contract with Universal TV, the subsidiary distributor in Australia for Universal Studios, expires. This means that those rights can then be bought by another station for airing purposes. As of yet, there has been no word as to which TV station has the airing rights to Season Six. Channel 10's contract was for the first five seasons only, therefore this latest season is available for anyone to buy.

Xenites in the UK have had a similar problem with the showing of "The Way" by one of their TV stations, Sky. Since the time the episode was pulled last year because of protests by a small group of extremist Hindus, and the subsequent editing and re-airing of the episode, Sky has refused to show the episode, edited or not. Upon several inquiries, Sky only stated that there are no plans to air the episode in any form, but gave no reasons why. It is not unreasonable to assume that the influence of the many Hindus in the UK have tipped the scales in keeping "The Way" from being aired. It is likely that the heads of the TV station do not want to offend these viewers and would rather take some heat from the Xenites
instead of possibly alienating their Hindu viewers.

Another UK TV station, Channel 5, has been asked by Xenites if they will show "The Way" and they have replied that they are examining the episode for its content and will make the decision nearer the time of airing. Because Sky was the original station to have airing rights to this episode, Channel 5 may run into the same legal problem showing the episode that TV stations in Australia have showing the later seasons of Xena. If that is the case, UK Xenites will have to rely on other ways to get their copies of "The Way" episode.

This site has so much more than just fanfic on it. His episode reviews alone are of far better quality than one usually finds in a professional review.

***********************

La La's XWP Episode Reviews
http://www.screamingxenas.com/xwp-reviews/

A great site for fun, in-depth ep reviews...among many other things. Make sure you check out the Tavern Wall while you're there. The best, all around Xena posting forum around. Subtext-friendly, but no fanatical rules about it, with a wide variety of die-hard Xenites, both women and men, from all over the world. The level of discussion is generally of a very high order, and there are often excellent threads on shows like Buffy, Voyager, The X-Files, and others as well.

6) Xena: Warrior Princess Episode Guide
by Bacchae2

Episode Sixteen "Mortal Beloved" and Episode Seventeen "The Royal Couple of Thieves"

"Mortal Beloved"

Marcus returns...as a shade. But it's the last we hear of "the man I love." Definitely not Xena's most significant relationship on this series. As someone once pointed out, re later developments, it's like
they blew off almost the whole first season of the series. (And in Season Five they blew off everything that went before!)

A vain attempt at making Xena het. It don't play that way. It's the 'friendship' between X&G that drives this series. Stabbing Marcus in the heart (what symbolism!) after he's given life again is perverse...to say
the least...the ultimate in passion? More lasting than a petite mort. She also stabs Gabby in Illusia let us remember (or try to forget). What a twisted symbol of 'love'...this Xena woman has a powerfully lethal effect upon her lovers.

The menacing, invisible fiend, super creepy and chilling, threatens Gab and provides a genuine moment of sheer terror when he appears to have bloodily overpowered her, still an innocent young thing at this point. Remember what a good heart she had, gods I miss that. Sigh.

Charon is a dead ringer (sorry, couldn't resist) for Beetlejuice crossed with Harvey Fierstein. Can that really be the adorable Mich. Hurst under all that make-up?!

And Xena and Marcus making love by the fire, and just inches away from a sleeping Gabrielle, is...kinky, Xena, to say the least.

Subtext Rating: Comparisons are odious (but instructive). Every would-be het relationship just serves to underline the rightness of her being with Gab. Which duo is left standing (or sitting by a lake with their arms around each other) together when all is said and done? We end with Xena and steadfast Gab a deux. The anguish written clearly on Xena's face and in her voice when she thinks Gab could be dead speaks to the heart of the matter.

Kinky factor--the only time we really know of in the series since meeting Gab that Xena sleeps with someone else, a man, and while Gab is lying right there, only a heartbeat and a (heavy) breath, or two, away. But, sigh, think of the way she tenderly pulls the cover over a soundly sleeping bard.

***********************

"The Royal Couple of Thieves"

"We're a couple of swells." "Anything you can do, I can do better." "Together wherever we go-o." "Are we a pair? Me here at last on the ground, you in mid-air..." Send in the Clowns.

Autolycus' first show. Bruce Campbell is a wonderful physical comic. Good silly fun. Which all of a sudden turns into "Raiders of the Lost Ark." Far too little Gabby. Though she does show up to good effect just in time to spur Xena's anguish factor once again, as the damsel in distress. B.C. and LL are a good comedy team. (But so are LL and ROC). They obviously have fun doing these eps. ROC does the woman in jep thing so well, she really makes you care about her. You know just how Xena feels. The battle of the pressure points. They do nicely choreograph these things.

Subtext Rating: They said it all: "Don't fear the truth, face it."

7) Feedback

Comments on the Issue 15

"It was a season of heartbreak and missed opportunities." Bacchae, this sentence from you totally sums up season five in all its painful disappointment. What started out promisingly with "Fallen Angel", and
continued with a series I still recognized through "Them Bones, Them Bones", just went straight to hell and never came back starting with episode six, "Purity". Of course all the following had to have an impact: The departure of Steve Sears and Liz Friedman, the cosmically boneheaded move on Tapert's part to put Herc clods Orci & Kurtzman in charge, RJ's wasted efforts on Cleo 2525 instead of on Xena, and some more cosmically boneheaded plot and character directions that continued even after Dorkman & Kurtzy left: The Christian Biblical Epic story starring "Xena the Avenger of Jehovah" vs. the (suddenly) "Totally Evil Heathen Greek Gods and Goddesses". The "Xena's baby is more important than freekin' Jesus, for Chrissakes, to the fate of the universe" plot arc, tied into the Twilight of the Gods arc, to insure twice the grandiose stupidity that either arc could have accomplished on its own. The return of Xena the slutty sexpot heterosexual seductress and lover of badboy toys, not seen in her full glory since her very first appearance on Hercules. The de-evolution of every major character, from Joxer to Callisto to Eli to, most horribly, Gabrielle, to one-dimensional cardboard cutouts not even remotely recognizable from their prior incarnations.

Lady Adrell, I'm afraid that although I thoroughly enjoyed your Lowered Expectations Training, there is no way I can accept any Raised Expectations look back at this embarrassment of a season myself. Enjoyed your account of the Con, it sounds like one not to miss. Interesting isn't it, that long after Tapert
and friends decided that Salmoneous wasn't interesting enough to bring back, that Robert Trebor continues to be so popular with the fans at the conventions.

This was certainly the most colossal Xine to date, at 50 KB. Then again, a colossal issue is somehow appropriate for honoring the loudest, most excessive, most grandiose, and most toweringly stupid season in the series history. The Xine was anything but this, fortunately: All the extra jokes and satire of season
five, and all the recommendations of fanfic alternatives to season five were very much welcome.

Thanks again for continuing to put out something so worthwhile for Xenites.
--Brian Davis

If you have any comments, suggestions for content, or articles to submit to this Xine, then please contact Lady Adrell at exine@exine.tvheaven.com

(We are accepting submissions for featured articles. Send to above address.)

8) PRIVACY/NO SPAM POLICY!

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12) Credits

The Xena E-Xine Staff:
Chief Editor/Head Reporter/Writer: Lady Adrell
Editor/Head Writer: Bacchae2
Assistant Editor/Research: Cindy
Writer: ArdentTly
FanFic Critic: Cated
Website Analyst: Staff
Episode Guides: Bacchae2

Since Season Six has not aired yet, nothing could have been damaged in the production of this Xine. Although, we think the Christian theme in XWP has done a good amount of damage to our brains, so we apologize in advance if we begin to preach about the ways of Eli and the God of Love.

You have permission to forward this to other people, and by all means, please do.

The contents of this E-Xine may be copied, reproduced, or freely distributed for all nonprofit purposes without the consent of the author as long as the author's name and contact information are included, unless where otherwise stated. Example: Reproduced with permission from Lady Adrell or said author.

All contents Copyright � 2000 The Xena E-Xine, except where indicated otherwise. All rights reserved worldwide. All trademarks are the property of their respective owners.

*****	Great Hard Core Nutball reading material!
****	You won't be disappointed.
***	It's better than getting punched in the face by Xena.
**	Maybe a go-round with Xena isn't a bad idea..
*	Shoot me...shoot me now!
[*]	Doesn't have a rating.